5 Reasons I Love Being Single

Being single often gets a bad reputation, especially from the female perspective and there was a time in my life when I would have totally said that there was nothing great about being single as a pringle but honestly, now, I, and many of my single girlfriends, have grown to see the blessings and benefits that come from this season of life. So for those that pity the singles in their lives or for those young singles that feel like the last item on the clearance rack, let me give you five reasons I love being single.

“My room, my rules.”

This is a quote often heard in response to one of my students whining about my expectations. I always tell them if they don’t like my rules they can get their own room and life is kind of like that. While I’d love to share my life with someone else, I also can appreciate the fact that I don’t have to truly consider anyone else’s opinion when making a decision which can be absolutely freeing. 

You get your first taste of this in your early 20s but you generally don’t have enough money to be terribly silly but at nearly 40 I could make some absolutely ridiculous decisions with no one to answer to if I so choose which has led to fun things like a Barbie pink kitchen, eating tater tots for dinner more than is acceptable and allocating a percentage of my monthly grocery budget to marshmallows for my backyard raccoons. You may think all of that is stupid but, hey, there’s nobody to stop me.  

Life’s Next Great Adventure

Speaking of freedom, I also love how being single opens me up to a world of possibilities. I’ve bought event tickets at lunch and drove out of town after work because I could. I’ve had single friends apply for their dream job states away and move all in a month. I’ve loaded up in a car late at night on a quest to find Dolly Parton’s house and succeeded. Being single doesn’t mean you don’t have responsibilities. Actually, I’d argue we have just as many but they are far different and far more fluid than someone who has a spouse and kids waiting at home. Both are beautiful but I’m not sad about the freedom that has allowed for adventures in this season!

Peace and Quiet

Something that makes all parents superheroes to me is that they often can’t have “off” days, especially moms. I get just a small glimpse of this as a teacher with so many students having so many needs, you can’t just have a headache or close your office door because you’re feeling sick. Many days I stand, talk, type and plan from 7:30 until 4:00 only stopping to pee and maybe eat a granola bar. It is exhausting so I relish the fact that I can then go home to silence minus a few demanding felines. My private world is often very quiet depending on my day. I may never turn the TV on or drive home in silence just trying to come down from the overstimulation of yells and lights and having your name called 6,000 times. 

Obviously, if you have a spouse or children, they will need your attention on most days and for good reason, just as I would want their attention if I had my own but listening to some of my friends tell stories of how they juggle it all just wows me and I am aware of what beauty can be found in the silence. Does that mean I wouldn’t trade the silence for a new season? Of course not, BUT it does mean on those days when my eye is twitching and I feel like I have an ice pick through my brain, I am extra thankful that I can climb in bed before dark without having to figure out dinner or bath time or long division. 

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” ~Dolly Parton

Of all the reasons I love that I’ve been single for so long, this is the biggest and one that I have truly come to appreciate in the last two years. I love those cute stories of people marrying their high school sweetheart because it is sweet and endearing to see a story filled with so much loyalty but boy, howdy, let’s talk about some unanswered prayers! Being single has allowed me to grow and change into the person I am today in a way that I truly don’t believe would have been possible had I been married. Not only because I would have been busy with other responsibilities but also because I would have been trapped in a stagnant condition that didn’t require change. 

Also, had I married the “man of my dreams” in high school or the line that followed after, it would have only ended in disaster and would NOT have been honoring to God. I know what I would have put up with five or ten years ago and it’s not pretty. I was not in a place to choose a healthy mate or to walk away from those that were clearly poor choices. In the same turn, the type of man that would have put up with the me that existed back then would not have been healthy enough to build a kingdom marriage either. 

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying. I know we continue to grow and change for all of our lives. I’ve had the privilege of watching this in my parents’ marriage for four decades but I also know that I am more of the me that I’m meant to be than ever before and that’s exactly who the Lord designed me to be for future seasons. 

Nobody eats my leftovers.  

It might seem silly but there are a million little things that married people complain about ALL. THE. TIME. that I know are just small aggravations but I don’t have to worry about any of that. My leftovers are always waiting. I never fight with anyone over the remote control. The Christmas lights are strung perfectly. Laundry and dishes are washed just as I’d like and nobody’s snoring keeps me up at night. All very small and all very silly but I believe you can find blessings in the big and small. 

Ultimately, I think every life season has blessings and struggles woven throughout because humans are going to human but I do find humor as I age in the shift from “I just hate that you’re still single. We need to change that.” to “You don’t know how lucky you are. I wish I could have as much fun as y’all.”  I wish baby Bailey could see what nearly 40 and single would look like after having a complete meltdown over turning 30 while single. I think she’d be shocked that her life is actually a lot like what she wanted as a kid and decade four is shaping up to be even better!